


Kinda Creepy

by ReaderRose



Series: Babbles and Drabbles [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Crack and Horror, Creepy, Creepy Fluff, Dark Crack, Drabble Collection, Ficlet Collection, Gen, Horror, Humor, One Shot Collection, Paranoia, Prompt Fill, Psychological Horror, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2019-03-01 17:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13299597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReaderRose/pseuds/ReaderRose
Summary: Filling Short, Vaguely Creepy Prompts from Tumblr





	1. Flowey and Papyrus - "Free Hugs"

**Author's Note:**

> This collection will be just prompt fills of a "kinda creepy" prompt list.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flowey and Papyrus make a plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to post/update at least one work a week in 2018. This first chapter is week 1's. Unimpressive, I know.

“This isn’t going to work.”

“WHAT??? WHY NOT??”

Papyrus put one hand to his hip, the other still clutching the bottle of spray paint. He huffed and turned around to give Flowey the old side eye. There was no way this wouldn’t work, but it was important to listen to comments and suggestions!

“You can’t just write “free hugs” on a creepy old alleyway wall and expect humans to fall for that.” Flowey leaned forward in his pot, menacingly as he could manage. Most of the pot and much of his stem had been carefully covered in plastic to keep the aerosol from being blown into his dirt and absorbed into his sensitive root system. It was a little uncomfortable, almost sweaty, and hard to move around. Also, he tried to make a scary face, but the safety goggles Papyrus made him wear ruined the effect. “It’s dumb!” he hissed.

Papyrus met Flowey’s glare. He did not have safety goggles, because he was an adult and far too cool. “WHY IS IT DUMB?”

Flowey chuckled. Poor, stupid Papyrus. Poor naive, stupid Papyrus. It was amazing, really, just  _how_ dumb he was. But Flowey could take pity on him, this time. “Because…” he said, voice low, leaning in, as if the obvious answer was some big secret. Papyrus copied, not huffy enough about his idea being dismissed to not get in on the drama of it.

“…hugs….” he drew out the word with a hiss.

Papyrus nodded intently, very interested now, leaning in so close and far he could be easily toppled over. (Flowey’d done that before and it was pretty funny).

…

…

“…Are  _always_ free!!!”

Flowey smirked.

Papyrus stood back up, expression skewed, and a finger to his jaw. Poor, naive fool had to have such obvious things explained to him. What an idiot! But he wasn’t the only one, and at least he listened. He was one of the better idiots.

“I SUPPOSE YOU ARE RIGHT…” Papyrus said, considering. (See? A top tier idiot.) “BUT THAT’S ONLY TRUE IN THE UNDERGROUND! WE CAN’T BE SURE THAT THE SAME IS TRUE ON THE SURFACE! THEY MAY EVEN HAVE A HUG TAX! COULD YOU IMAGINE??” He shuddered. The surface had proven this far too hold many backward ideals. He’d crossed half the city at this point and found nary spike trap or puzzle! “BUT I SUPPOSE AN ADDITIONAL INCENTIVE WOULD BE MOST SUITABLE TO LURE THE HUMANS TO OUR DARK, FOREBODING ALLEYWAY.”

Flowey was feeling pretty smug before he realized that he didn’t actually have a better suggestion. So he would just have to tear the whole thing down to look smart this time.  “Listen, Papyrus, this whole thing is a dumb idea!! Let’s just go home. Plus this plastic is making me feel gross and I want it off.”

Papyrus frowned but agreed. Perhaps this idea wasn’t his most well-thought-out. He wanted to capture some humans… for humanitarian purposes! It was in his job description as an aide to the ambassador, though he didn’t understand why. It seemed rather counter productive, but he would do what he must as mascot! Surface customs were very strange, indeed.

Oh well! He had not seen many humans in the area at all, anyway. Today would be a failure, but he was certain they would triumph eventually! They would simply have to go home and scheme a new scheme.

A month later, Papyrus and Flowey returned with a better plan, and a white windowless van with spray paint along the side that said:

**“Free Candy  
** **(AND HUGS)”**


	2. Tumblr post: a cute idea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tumblr post I made that I think belongs in here.  
> Papyrus post-pacifist headcanons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and the next chapter are tumblr posts I made that fit the "kinda creepy" theme. They aren't for that meme though.

You know how in the Underground, wherever you go, Sans seems to turn up, half-assing one job or another?

So, imagine: on the surface, the torch is passed from brother to brother.

You go to the grocery store, there’s Papyrus, bagging your groceries. He tells you he’s trying to pay his way through school. You ask him what he’s going to school for. He smiles. He doesn’t answer your question. You wish him well and leave.

You decide to stop by at the local farmer’s market for a few additional odds and ends. You meet Papyrus, who does not acknowledge that you and he just met. He’s selling landscape photographs at a stand. He calls them paintings but they clearly are photos. He smiles. You feel a little unsettled.

You buy a painting.

You nearly get mugged. You don’t see your assailant, but you see your savior. It’s Papyrus. He runs off.

You call the police. Detectives Undyne and Papyrus arrive on scene. Papyrus does not acknowledge ever having met you before. They head off to track down your attacker.

You decide to get a check up after the attack. You’re seen by physician’s assistant Papyrus.

You stop by a restaurant on your way back to grab a bite to eat. Your waiter is a very cheerful skeleton by the name Papyrus. You tell him to give your compliments to the chef. He says “THANK YOU!”

You get home. Your basement is flooded. You call for a plumber. It’s Papyrus.

Your power goes out later on due to water damage to your electrical. You call a mechanic. It’s Papyrus.

You need a contractor. It’s Papyrus.

You decide to move. Your realtor is Papyrus.

You fly to a new area for a fresh start. Your pilot is Papyrus.

You go to class. Your professor is Papyrus.

You press charges on your mugger. The prosecutor is Papyrus.

You decide to go to a museum. The curator is Papyrus.

You go to a library. Librarian Papyrus.

You go to the observatory. You meet the scientist on duty. It’s Sans. He asks you if you’ve met his brother, Papyrus. He works here but he’s not in today.

You run. You run and run and run. You pass 5 other joggers. All Papyrus.

You hear about a monster astronaut. It’s Papyrus.

You think you’re finally safe. He’s in space now. You’re safe. You’re safe.

You’re safe.

You don’t  ** _feel_**  safe.

You check into therapy.

 

 

 

Your therapist is Papyrus.


	3. Tumblr post: The Sans Fight We Deserve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A tumblr post I thought was relevant. 
> 
> Sans Neutral Fight headcanons.

Okay so I know I have other stuff to be doing, but I just had this neat idea and I needed to share it, so hear me out, okay?

Alright, so picture this scenario.

You’re really deep into Undertale. Okay? Like, huge fan. Big game. You have the plushies and the bonus whoopie cushion and everything, or maybe you’re not into the merch, but you run a blog, or maybe neither, but either way, you’re a big, tough, hardcore UT fan, and you’re on a mission.

See, some people are casual fans. Some people are major fans. Some people have to do everything at least once. Maybe twice for good measure, achieving all endings and seeing all text. Some people, still, are dataminers, and go beyond even what the game openly offers.

But you? You’re a step beyond. Maybe you were just a completionist once, but something changed somewhere along the line. You did everything. Everything. Not once, not twice, not thrice, but countless times. You completed it. You finished it. But something is wrong, and you can’t seem to stop playing.

Isn’t that weird? Undertale is all about letting go, but no matter what you do, you simply… 

_…can’t._

~~Were you like this before? You aren’t sure anymore.~~

You’re the one they write about when a genocide run repeats itself, over and over again in an unending loop, But even that has eventually become passe.

No, you no longer seek a challenge. You aren’t looking for excitement; you never were. You seek answers. It’s not that you don’t care. You aren’t soulless, at least… not  _really._  It’s actually that you care too much, and you need to know everything there is to know, about everyone. Everything.

There  _has_ to be a neutral Sans fight. It doesn’t make sense. It’s right there in the soundtrack, the theme of it, so it must exist. There must be a way to find it, unlock it, rebuild it… it haunts you more than any other question. More than the fallen human, who may or may not be you. More than Gaster, whose name may or may not be stricken from this wold. Goner kid, hidden doors, Suzy, all interesting… but not enough. No. There has to be an answer. You can’t let go until you  _know_.

And it’s not about the challenge. No, you know every step of the Sans fight. You could do it blindfolded, maybe, but you were too bored of it to even try at that. You wanted information. You seek only knowledge. A fellow scientist, in a way, right? Sans should answer you. He should open up. Together you could learn more. About the world. About each other.  _So why doesn’t he just answer you!?_

You… you know it’s just a game. You know that. Lines of data, lines of code, dialogue that’s improperly marked, never quite properly patched throughout the years. Goofy PSN achievements that don’t actually mean anything, all devoted to giving money to some goofy dog avatar of god… it’s goofy. It’s silly. It’s dumb. It’s just a game. 

You’re completely obsessed.

But your persistence pays off. You crack the code. You do your research. Studying old tweets, kickstarter videos, names in the credits, archived Starmen posts by radiation, tracklistings, demo data, lines of code you whisper in your scarce and scarcer sleep… 

You find a way to unlock a fight that was never meant to be.

Everything is set, and you know the path that you need to take. Each step, each keystroke. Your fun is where it needs to be and you have never been more ready to fight.

The moment comes. You’re nervous. Your palms are sweaty. Some distant part of you speaks up, tiredly, wearily, that this is just a game, and this isn’t healthy, or normal, or even right. After all, if you do believe this game is something more, then why would you ever cause these characters such pain?

But that part of you is distant, weak, easily silenced instead by the part that has been waiting for this moment for what feels like your whole life. 

And again, most importantly, it’s not about the challenge. You’ve done countless no hit runs of every branch and option, and it doesn’t matter now. Whatever Sans can throw at you, you can endure. Challenge plays no part in this. Only knowledge. Only understanding.

You know there’s dialogue, but you averted your eyes from it when you reinstalled the missing code. You want to be surprised. You want Sans to be the one to say it, not some lines in notepad plus. It doesn’t really matter, but it also matters more than you can admit. Even now. Even here.

What new secrets will be unlocked? Will Sans finally explain himself? Where’s he from? How did he get here? Just who is he? What’s his favorite color? What’s his favorite food? Any information is good information. Anything at all. Anything that’s new. You aren’t picky. You just need more. And more. And m̢̢ǫ̡r̶̨ȩ̶̵…

The fight begins. There’s no new dialogue before that, but you figured as much. The game doesn’t quite know what belongs anymore, but there was never anything here. And that’s not the only thing that’s broken. The whole interface is wrong. 

Sans lets you make the first move, no surprise attacks, and you begin with a CHECK. It fails. You have no idea what the stats are. The description merely says “Error.”Is it meant to say that, or is it an error? You aren’t certain, but you know this is already going to be amazing.

Sans doesn’t attack. He doesn’t say a word. You aren’t sure if that’s the script, or an error, or the way it was meant to be, but something in you… snaps. You repair it just a moment later, justify your decision to attack as attempting to see if he still dodges, to see what his HP looks like.

Sans slides to the left.

The fight begins.

It’s easier than his genocide fight, and something’s off about the music. It’s catchy. Familiar. But it’s not the song from the album and its not quite what you expected, but it’s good fighting music, and your movements go along easily with the rhythm. You don’t know what this is, but it’s inspired, and, honestly? Very cool.

You want to savor your time. You want to. Sans isn’t messing with the interface. You don’t have to go so fast. But it just feels right, and practiced. You know these keys better than you know your own name, some days. The dialogue box says something, but you keep missing it. “It’s time to…” something. Probably a variation on a bad time. Maybe a pun. You’ll replay. You’ll catch it later. You don’t care what the narrator says. 

Only Sans. 

Just Sans.

Only… Sans still isn’t talking, but maybe it will come. Maybe. You attack again, Sans slides to the right. 

There’s a mix of large sections of blue attacks. Moments where you think the bones are past you, only for them to return again and force you into a repetition of the actions you just completed. You’re occasionally tossed. To the left. To the right. Never up. Never down. It’s different. It’s intriguing. 

You exist entirely within the moment. At the same time, though, you’re analyzing. What does this mean? Is there a pattern here? A symbol? 

Sans grins as he always does, and withholds all the answers. He still isn’t talking, and you need to know why. You need to know. His expression never changes. 

Just a slide to the left.

 A slide to the right. 

Bones crisscross, and you match the motion as best as you can. They crisscross again, and you follow.

You catch your breath as a dialogue bubble appears. Finally. FINALLY! 

He’s going to speak. Something new! Something real!  ~~(Of course, it isn’t real. t’s just a game. It’s just a game and Sans has no idea what you’ve done for him, for this, and he cannot know. He cannot care. About this. About you. He lacks the capacity because he is. not. real. But you don’t care anymore.)~~

You wait. It feels like ages, but it’s less than a second.  ~~(Time stopped making sense in the real world long ago. Fitting. Just like the game.)~~

> **“now everybody clap your hands.”**

 

You blink. Confused. What? What does that even mean?

And Sans begins to clap, in rhythm with the music.

 

With dawning horror, you realize  _this little bone-goblin of a video game character_ is forcing you through the motions of Mr. C The Slide Man’s infamous hit dance number: the Cha Cha Slide.

 

You die, instantly.

 


	4. To Catch A Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Re-imagining of "Free Hugs" from Chapter 1  
> Bigger, louder, and more cracky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a few questions/comments about this, mostly about what Sans would do if he were present in this scenario.
> 
> So here’s what I’m thinking, after mulling on it for a while…
> 
> Consider this an AU of the original dumb idea. This crack fic is bigger, louder, and more cracky. (Also in a very awkward style)

Papyrus and Flowey bicker back and forth over the potential effectiveness of their insidious FREE HUGS trap. Flowey insists it won’t work, but Papyrus swears that it will, and it can. They just need to believe in the plan and try! Anyone can capture a human for nebulous humanitarian purposes if they just try! But they can’t try if they’re too busy debating!!

This goes on for a while, and it doesn’t end before Undyne appears during one of her daily jogs. She’s curious what her dopey pal and his not-so-imaginary friend are up to this time.

Capturing humans!? Like that!?!? PLEASE. No human was going to fall for the old free hug trick. That only worked on line, 3 of the fallen humans that Asgore got. Nah, that’s amateur hour.

Flowey pretends to not be mildly horrified by that mention that, to be fair, he’s pretty sure (but only pretty sure) Undyne just made up, and focuses instead on Undyne agreeing with his point that hugs are stupid and he doesn’t like them at all!!!

Undyne points out that that’s not what she said and focuses instead on presenting her own idea. See, humans? They’re sneaky. They’re slippery. They’re clever and determined and make some great anime. That’s why you need to be direct! That’s why Undyne suggests running right up to a human and snatching them off the street while they’re off guard!!! Yeah!!!

 

To prove her point, she demonstrates doing exactly that, lifting the poor human above her head in triumph. Until of course, the human wriggles its way free of her grasp and runs off down the roadways, screaming. Undyne shrugs. Slippery, like she said. She doesn’t bother to chase it down, though she could. This was just a proof of concept. She’s not even sure what these two are planning to do once they have a human. She’s just always willing to help a good friend.

Papyrus points out that the fear and the screaming is not good for the cause! They humans aren’t supposed to be scared! They’re supposed to be surprised! This will never work!

 

So, Undyne calls in Alphys. And by calls, I mean she starts to call, remembers that her girlfriend will never answer a phone for any reason, and sends her a message on Undernet. Then, Alphys calls her.

Alphys suggests a maze. That is, instead of just a sign or plucking a human off the street, set up a…a detour. Set up road blocks in the center of the sidewalk and slow them down, and then… Uh… Then if you… If you think they would go with it, you can… Uh… Manipulate them using a series of implausible scenarios in which you guide them and aid them until they’re completely amenable to your cause in which case they should be willing to go completely willingly along with whatever you have in store for them, just like on that episode of… Of… Heh…  _ **Go Go! Mew Mew Star Fighters Life|Love|Friendship: GO**_ … eheh… heh… heh……

Alphys hangs up.

 

Undyne doesn’t actually catch any of that. Neither does Papyrus, though he does notice Alphys become very sweaty as she talks, and wonder if she’s ill. Flowey catches it all, but thinks the plan was dumb and doesn’t explain.

While the three debate options, they hear the loud, whirring sounds of what they haven’t quite associated with a helicopter, which descends upon them from the sky until a dazzling figure, made seemingly entirely of sparkles and glitter, twirls and flips through the air before landing on his feet in a way no human or monster could hope to match (but Undyne totally could if she felt like it and isn’t jealous at all of those long metal legs.)(Papyrus, being very not insecure at all, also isn’t jealous of those long legs.)(Flowey isn’t jealous of the legs, but does make plans to steal them for his own.)

The One, the Only: Mettaton!!! has arrived. Alphys summoned him to their locale to aide the three in their task of capturing a human! He is here to build that maze, and he’s going to make it the most incredible, glamorous show the Surface has ever seen!!!

Undyne wonders how Alphys knew where to send Mettaton. Flowey looks around for the security camera for later reference. Papyrus just assumes she recognized the location when they were all in speaker phone.

Mettaton snaps his fingers and suddenly the entire street is a labyrinth of glitter and mechanized destruction. Spotlights twirl around, sequins litter the sidewalks, and there are lasers and conveyor belts and rushing rivers of MTT Brand “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Lava"™

 

Papyrus is being frustrated. Mettaton is incredible and popular so he must be very right, all the time, but this!!! This is everything he hates, all in one. He’s sure he faintly smells the taste of line in his eye sockets as he gazes out upon the hellscape that was once his human capture alley. But, the humans wouldn’t be screaming, and they wouldn’t be able to run away… So…

Maybe he should give Mettaton and Alphys’s terrible science/glitter amalgamation a chance. Then he remembers that that’s probably insensitive and corrects his thought to "terrible science/glitter mishy mashy thing”

So, he watches. They all do. But there’s a problem that suddenly becomes very clear. This monument of excess and flashing lights contains a lot of blind spots, and humans are going missing in the maze, never to come back out. It’s going against the whole point of this exercise in the first place! And as Mettaton points out, is not even making for a good show! Flowey suggests he edit it in post to instead be a documentary series on the mysterious disappearances of humans inside of the deadly terror maze. Mettaton acknowledges it as a great idea. Undyne gets bored and decides to go home and hang out with her girlfriend before she has to deal with the call from work about all the missing humans.

 

Finally, after about the 20th human or so to be gobbled up by the labyrinth of awfulness, Papyrus decides that solving this puzzle is interesting enough to overcome his disdain for how utterly  _Hotland_  all of this is.

He and Flowey enter the maze together, besting steam jumpy trap and orange laser alike. Finally, just before the fifth horrible colored time maze section, they notice a sign painted on the side of the wall that reads in a childish scrawl: “shortcut.”

When they decide to take the detour it’s as if they’ve entered another world entirely, where nothing quite makes sense. It’s a long hallway that seems to loop and spiral in on itself in ways that seem impossible, as if there are no entrances or exits, and the hallways never ends.

 

They walk. And they walk. Until they finally reach a doorway, and through that doorway is a sign in that same round handwriting as earlier: “exit through the giftshop”

Looking around, there are bobble heads, magnets, t-shirts and t-skirts and bobbins and pins and even some plushies. The ones that aren’t of Papyrus’s own likeness are that of Frisk. It’s an entire collection of very overpriced and very unlicensed monster mascot memorabilia.

At once, the pair look at each other, and they know exactly who is behind this. And they are right. Sleeping at the cash register was none other than Sans Undertale himself.

They question Sans, who mostly shrugs and gives evasive yet humorous answers to them. There’s also some appropriate puns and some vague implications about knowing more than he lets on, which are accompanied by a wink.

Papyrus lectures Sans for sleeping on the job… But he applauds him for all his wonderful effort in simultaneously thwarting their plans and setting up an illegal, unlicenced business in the void. He also buys a mug with his face on it and two matching pairs of heart-shaped sunglasses for him and Flowey, which they wear out of the store, looking famous and cool.

They exit on the other side of the maze, just out of view of Mettaton’s cameras, as well as Alphys’s, and the two walk off into the sunset.

 

“YOU KNOW, FLOWEY, I’VE LEARNED A VERY VALUABLE LESSON FROM ALL OF THIS!!!”

“What’s that?”

“WE COULD JUST KNOCK A HUMAN OVER THE HEAD WITH A BLUNT OBJECT, KNOCK THEM OUT, AND LOCK THEM UP SOMEWHERE. I DON’T KNOW WHY WE DIDN’T THINK OF THAT RIGHT AT THE START!!! HOW SILLY OF US!!!”

“This is why you’re my favorite, Papyrus.”


End file.
